Wedding Invitation
Wedding Invitations are usually the reflection of the tastes, of the Mappillai or his family members – who perhaps swipe their plastic card for it. Although, the internet has helped a lot in the distribution of these cards across the globe, we in our culture still very much impose on the distribution of the cards are done personally. For a fact, that is the first event that takes place to announce the union and extravaganza to all. Usually until the invitations arrive, not all are sure that the whole wedding will take place.
One trend that is merging is the desire to have unique invitations cards. Rather than making a choice from catalogue of pre-printed designs, we are beginning to find increasingly urban, lifestyle-conscious, city slickers opting for a specially designed invite. Creative Expressions and exclusivity are what such couples are looking for.
In their search for the ideal card that will reflect their personalities, create a buzz among its recipients and set the tone of their wedding. In fact, nothing is more befitting than an invitation that expresses the couple’s sincerity and individuality to their guests. More so, when an invite is expected to exude an aura of romance, the foundation upon which a marriage is built upon.
Wedding Do’s and Dont’s
Viewing the Porutham
It is a common practice among the Hindus to see the compatibility between the girl and the boy before a wedding is arranged. There are ten aspects that are normally looked into before the boy meets the girl. Seeing the porutham is more for an arranged marriage. Simply because we are choosing a life partner who is going to live with us for the rest of our lives and we want the best. Even when buying a property we do so much selection, what more when it comes to a life partner. Furthermore, our Hindu astrology comes with a complete details whether a bride and groom are compatible or not. Although seeing the compatibility is important it is not advisable for couples in love to see the compatibility. One falls in love after knowing each other so let’s not blight their life by seeing their compatibility.
Banana trees
To hope the newlywed couples have a family like the banana tree.
Thoranam and mango leaves
Thoranam denotes the couples to move forwards in life. Mango leaves eliminate the bacteria around the house.
Plant the arasani
Worshipping the arasani tree is to have the protection from the God.
Paatha pooja
It means worshipping the feet to show respect to the elders.
Confinements of nallunggu
These are conducted three days before the marriage to destroy bad and evils. The bride or groom cannot go out from house after the first day of nallunggu.
Barred from Using Sharp items
Both groom and bride can’t use sharp items to make sure both bride or groom not to get hurt before the wedding.
Atchathai
The atchathai is auspicious and a sign of blessing to the newlyweds.
Hindu Wedding Rites And Rituals
On the day of the wedding, the ceremony will begin the minute the bride and groom are the temple or hall grounds. They have to be dressed their best, so they normally choose to put on their engagement clothing, their best before their wedding attire. In some cultures they’d come dressed for the occasion with their wedding attire, because logistically it’s the best thing to do.
Welcoming the guests
In any functions we need people to bless and to enjoy the ceremonies with us. In a Hindu wedding ceremony guests are very important especially to bless the couple and to witness the wedding. They are welcomed with fragrant rose water whish will be sprinkled upon them at the entrance of the wedding place. They are also offered sandalwood paste, kungumam, flowers, and sweets. The guests are expected to have sweet thoughts and say sweet words on the day.
First Appearance of the groom
The mappillai tholan(best man – who is usually the bride’s brother) will lead the groom to the wedding dais from the entrance. After circumambulating the wedding dais once in a clockwise direction the groom will seat himself.
Religious Rituals for the groom
Once the groom is seated, he is offered the vibuthi (holy ash) by the priest. Then the mappilai tholan will garland the groom with the seeyakkai maalai (a simple garland). The bridegroom is then offered a pavithram(a ring made of therpai grass) to wear on his right ring finger. A Pillayar(Lord Ganesha) pooja is then conducted to remove all the obstacles. This is signified by tying a saffron thread on the right wrist of the groom. During this time the bridegroom will hold a coconut, uncooked yellow rice, betel leaves, betel nuts, and two bananas in both palms.
Three or five married ladies wil perform the nallunggu. They will also perform the sowing of the navathaniyam (nine varieties of coloured grains). This is to signify the fertility of the sacred union. The same women will bring the Agni (sacred fire) who is the main witness and purifier of the wedding rituals as requested by the priest. These women then plant the Arasaani tree.
The wedding attire and wedding garland for the groom will be taken around the hall to be blessed by the guests. The bridegroom will then retire to change into his wedding attire.
Bride’s First Entrance and the Rituals
The bride is led to manavarai by her tholi (bridesmaid, usually the groom’s sister). The bride will carry a coconut wrapped in a yellow cloth with her. The bride will seat herself after circumambulating the wedding dais once. The priest offers vibuthi to the bride and her tholi. The bridesmaid will garland the bride with the seeyakkai maalai. Another Pillayar poojai is conducted. A Mahalaxmi pooja is also conducted to get the blessing of Goddess Mahalaxmi.
Groom Dressed in Wedding Vesti and Jippa
The bridegroom arrives at the entrance of the hall dressed elegantly in his wedding vesti and jippa. The priest will be at the entrance as well. Now, the mappillai tholan will place the right foot of the groom on the ammi (grinding stone). The mappillai tholan will wash the groom’s foot with milk, and apply some sandal paste and kungumam. He will then place a metti (toe ring) around the second toe. He will also place a metti on the elft toe. The groom then presents a ring for the mappillai tholan. The bridegroom wears the metti to inform to the world that he is married. The metti will also remind him of his responsibilities towards his family and society. The groom will then proceed to the wedding dais accompanied by the nathaswaram and the thavil melam. He will then sit at the manavarai waiting for his bride.
Bride in Her Best Wear
The bride walks in her wedding clothes and joins the groom. She will sit on his right because the the right side symbolizes victory plus she will be the pillar for her husband.
TheVivaha Pooja
The priest will conduct a Vivaha pooja. He will also remove the dosham by removing the therpai grass from the bride and groom. The Mangalya pooja begins.
The parents of the bride and groom are invited to sit in front of their children. The sacred thali will be wound around a coconut and taken around the hall to be blessed by the guests. It will be taken around by the bride’s maternal uncle.
Kannigaa Thaanam
The bride’s father will perform the kanigaa thaanam. The bride bolds in her hands,betel leaves, kungumam, coconut, flowers, and a gold soveireign while her father holds her hand in his palm. The priest proclaims the names of the bride and groom and calls upon three generations of ancestors to bless the new union. The bride’s father expresses his willingness to give his daughter to the groom. The groom accepts the bride. The father of the bride places her hands in the palms of the groom.
The bride and bridegroom will perform the paatha pooja for their parents. This is where the bride and groom will take turns in washing the feet of their parents with milk. This denotes how when embarking on their own new life now, they show gratitude to the parents and their forefathers
Tying the Sacred Thaali
The priest will then hand over the Thaali to the bridegroom, who will then tie it with three knots around the bride’s neck. While tying the the thaali, the groom will say the Mangalya Mantra. At this point, the groom’s sister will stand behind the couple holding an oil lamp. The groom will apply sandal paste and kungumam on the three knots and the thaali. He will also put kungumam on the bride’s forehead.
Paanikgrahanam
The bride will hold her five fingers of her right hand upright which like a lotus bud facing the sky. The groom will take hold of her hands by wrapping his fingers around hers. This rituals symbolizes the bride’s surrender herself to her husband. It also shows the closeness that will exist between the couple as husband and wife.
Exchanging garlands
The married couples will then exchange the garlands three times after which they will return to their wedding dais. Here the exchange of garlands symbolizes their unification – as one soul in two bodies. It is inward acceptation by each of the fragrance of the other.
Now, the bride will sit on the groom’s left as Lord Shiva has designated his left half as the place for Mother Sakhti.
Circumnutating the Agni (fire)
A crucial part of the wedding is the homage paid by the couple to AGNI,the fire – God. The mappillai tholan leads the groom while he holds his bride’s hand. The bride meanwhile will hold the tholi’s hand while they go around the ceremonial fire three times. Each times they feed the fire with ghee, rice, and seeds. During the first round the married couple takes the sapthabathy (marriages vows). The seven steps in ‘sapthabathy’ mean nourishments, moral support and strength, chastity, happiness in parenthood, mutual commitment, respect and love, cherishment and eternal friendship. Upon completion of the first round the bride and groom will feed the Agni with pori. The fumes that arise are supposed to posses medicinal, curative and cleansing effects on the bodies of the couple. AGNI is the greatest cosmic energy, so the Homam is paying tribute to the universe that has come together to bless this couple as AGNI SAKSHI. This is also done at the end of the second and third round. During the third round, the groom lifts the right foot of the bride and places it on the ammi to reinforce the importance of steadfastness in the matrimonial bond. The groom will place the metti for his bride on the second toe of her right and left feet.
Showing her Arunthati Star
In Malaysia only certain cultures follow this largely. The Groom will now look up into the sky-day or night regardless, to show her the Arunthati(She is supposedly of the Saptha Rishi Constellation and also the polar star – Dhurva Star). Arunthati, is the wife of Vasistha Mahrishi, exemplified as an ideal wife, the embodiment of chastity. Dhurva Star is the one who attained immortality throughout married life. So even if you can’t see any stars. Just say YES! They are believed to be there.
Blessings
The priest will bless the couple upon completion of the third round. Parents and relatives will also bless the couple. Three married women will then perform the aarathi. The priest will remove the yellow thread tied on the bride and groom while the newlyweds plant the arasani tree. Selected married women will then plant the Navathaniyam by scattering the seeds on the ground.
Griha Pravesam
Taking with her, the paste form the Laaja Homam, the bride takes leave of her home, and enters the new home of her-in-laws.
Manggala Arathi
A solution of the line and turmeric powder, and in colour, is prepares on a plate, and circled around, and thrown away to ward off evil eye. This is done a number of times during the entire wedding ceremony, and at the end.
Shanti Muhoortham
The consummation of the marriage on the first night – the nuptials!
Post-Wedding Do’s And Rituals
The Thaali
The thaali is made of several pieces of yellow string that is tied around the neck of the bride during the wedding. It is normally replaced with a gold chain on the third day of the wedding. This is done at the bride’s house. Some people prefer to replace the thaali after the third month of the marriage.
Once the string is replaced with the chain, the string is left in flowing waters. It should not be disposed in any other manner as the thaali considered sacred. It is also a practice to take a strand from the string and tie it on the chain which now replaces the thaali.
The Garland and flower Bouquets
The bride and groom will wear garland and carry flower bouquet during the wedding ceremony. After the wedding, the newlyweds will go to the groom’s house and after that back to the bride house. At the bride’s house, they will leave their wedding garlands and flower bouquets. These garlands and bouquets are then disposed in to the sea by the bride and groom.
A simple prayer is done before the garlands are elft into the sea. It is very common to do this in the month of Adhi during Adhiperukku. Some couples keep their garlands till this day to let them off in this sea.
The Methi
The methi or toe ring is worn to remind the couple that they are married. It is advised to wear the ring for the rest of one’s life. Many people prefer to remove the emthi because it is more comfortable. Nevertheless, one should wear the methi for at least three months after the marriage. The mathi should be safely kept if not wearing and it can can aso replaced by different methi.
The Arasani
The arasani tree which is planted by three married women during the ceremony will be cleared once the ceremony is over. Sometimes the tree is replanted at a suitable place because the Hindus believe the devargals inside the tree. Thus, it is worshipped to get the blessings of the devargals. If it is not replanted it will be left in the waters.
Wedding Saree and Vesti/Jippa
Thw wedding saree is one of the most expensive saree that will be worn by a woman. A bride should take good care of the saree. The saree should not be washed for a year after the wedding and should be used for important functions in the family. Wedding sarees treasured until a woman leaves the world. The vesti and jippa are cleaned and kept neatly. It can be used for other ceremonies.
The coconut carried by the bride
The bride carries the coconut which is wrapped together with some money, kungumam, betel, nuts in a yellow piece of cloth for the wedding. On the third day, after the wedding, the coconut is taken to the temple. At the temple, the priest does the archanai using the coconut. The archanai is then brought home and placed at the altar.
More Science than Myth In An Indian Wedding
Pandha Kaal Muhurtham
This ritual is held separately in both homes, usually in the morning the one day before the wedding. This ceremony is performed as a commitment to the forthcoming wedding and announced to the community.
Five sumangalis (married ladies) perform the task of planting a turmeric drenched kalyana murugai plant[it propagates easily thus symbolizing fertility and prosperity] into the soil which is filled with the nine [nava thaniyam] grains that also sprout quickly.
These traditional grains include green gram, black gram, wheat, rice, dhal, chickpeas, sesame, flax, and mochalai beans together with milk and honey. This is done symbolically to wish the couple a happy married life. After this pre wedding ritual both the bride and groom are prevented from leaving their respective house.
Panthal decoration
This is only done after the pandha kaal muhurtham. The décor of young coconut palms cut and folded downwards is akin to invoking the devas from their celectial world to come earth and bless the couple.
Banana trees heavy with ripening fruits are tied to either side of the entrance for prosperity of future generations.
Mango leaves strung together as decoration are actually meant to absorb the excessive carbon dioxide created by gathering crowds through photosynthesis. The frontward fold of the leaf symbolizes a bow down, humility and sincerity in welcoming the guests.
Kolam drawn with the rice flour, saffron and coloured desiccated coconut is to welcome guests and also act as food for ants and other tiny insects. Saffron is a disinfectant against germs which might be expected in a large crowd.
Poona Kumbam is a brass or silver pot [human body] filled with holy water, topped with coconut [head], surrounded by five mango leaves [senses] placed on the banana leaf with rice or paddy. This poona kumbam depicts control of the body, mind and the senses, which would lead to self realization.
Therpai- The bride and groom wear a ring made of therpai grass, which is pure grass that only grows in very fertile soil and is capable of purifying water and metal, giving warmth and the speed of fire. Even if it is dried it retains the same power and water sprinkled with the grass as disinfectant, which explains why it’s supposed to shield the wearer from ‘evil’!
Nav-graha puja(Worship of nine planets)
This is the prayer to the nine planets of our Solar System. Ancient Indian studies indicate that various celestial have tremendous influence on the destiny of every individual, and among them the effect of the nine planets is supposed to be the most profound. During this puja, the Gods associated with these planets are asked to bless the couple and their families.
Symbolic Bonding
In this ceremony, the corner of the bride’s saree is tied to a scarf which is worn by the groom. The right hands of the couple are tied with thread that has been blessed with religious incantations. The tying symbolizes an eternal bond that will join them forever.
Blessing
The priest explains to the couple their responsibilities to each other and then gives them his holy blessings. This completes the marriage ceremony.
Aarthi: Welcoming the bride into her marital house
On the bride’s arrival, an aarthi is performed from her at the doorstep by her mother-in-law and she takes her first step into the new home by tipping over a small heap of rice with her right foot. She must ensure that the rice spills as far as possible, bringing prosperity into her new home! She is then taken to the family puja room where she prostrates before the deity and is given a silver or gold coin which she puts into a silver pot filled with water.
Salt ceremony
After friend and family have greeted the couple, they leave for the groom’s house. At the entrance of the new home, the bride’s feet is rinsed by the groom’s parents. A cover is placed over her head as she sprinkles milk in all corners of the house.
This signifies that she will maintain the respect of the family and that if there any misunderstandings within the family, she is supposed to help solve them. Surrounded by her new family, the bride picks up a handful of salt and places it in the hands of her husband. He passes it back into her hands without spilling any salt.
This is done three times. Similarly the salt is carried out with all members of the groom’s family. Exchanging, salt symbolizes that just as salts blends in and gives taste to food, so must the bride blend in and become a part of her new family.
Engagement: Declaration of love and marriage
Engagement Ring: Unconditional love; the beginning of a blissful journey
Banana tree: To represent fertility for the couple
Kolam: To represent prosperity and happiness
Odd-numbered trays: To encourage good fortune and prosperity upon the couple
Engagement Trays Carried by Married Ladies: To symbolize longevity of a marriage and children
Groom’s Sisters or Aunts Helping the Bride-to-be Change into the Engagement Saree Given to Her by Her-in-laws: To symbolize the union of a close knitted family.
Exchange of Rings and Garlands: To seal the commitments and prayers
Matli: Known to infuse good luck.
Offerings from the Bride-to-be to the Groom –to-be: To symbolize the bride’s family acceptance of the union of their daughter and the groom-to-be
Five Women from Both Sides of The Family Bless The couples-to-be: A promise sealed between two families
Mehndi Ceremony: The longer the Mehndi stays on the bride, her husband’s love will grow for her.
Tilak Ceremony: To represent the shift of responsibilities to the groom and the acceptance of a loving man for his daughter.
Source: Indian Wedding Photographer and Net
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